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Old 04-17-2011, 04:15 PM   #1
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JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

Hi my name's Matt and I'm a Van-Aholic.
I know what your thinking. I'm not a Van-Aholic, I just like my van. I could sell it and get a hybrid Yaris any time I want. I only have this van because I need the room.
I know it feels better to think this but the truth is, if you are reading this on this forum you have a serious addiction to vans and need to get help soon.
It's the same story every time. You buy your van to camp and travel in only, but remember Hell is paved with good intentions. Then the addiction starts to set in. You buy this, upgrade that and everything is still good. Remember though these little changes are like gateway drugs that don't hurt anyone, your just happy living in your new "van" world. Then it all changes when one day your surfing the web and what do you come across. None other than Sportsmobile Forum. A whole viral network of happy van people, just like you. Wow you think, this is great. I'll just join to say hi and maybe look at some photos to get some ideas. Little did you know the minute you joined the forum the van-phoria would start rushing through your veins and infect your brain like a virus. Your whole life would start to change. You start to envision your van as a monstrous 4x4, you think nothing of cutting large holes in your van to accommodate windows, raised tops and anything else you can no longer live with out. No longer are your weekends free to work around the house, you start to distance yourself from friends and family that don't own there own van. Now your only true friends go by names like "jage", "bettywhite" and "elvis" just to name a few.
Fear not my friend, there is help out there for you. Join the Van-Aholics Anonymous. We will free you from this constant need to live the van life style. You can live the life of 40 mpg in just 10 short weeks. You'll step out of that full size van and into one of our luxury minivans, then down to a town car and Finley you will drive away in your new Yaris. Free from the worry of having to own a awesome van, free from people asking you question after question about your van every were you go. Don't worry no matter how long you've owned a van, we can save you. Call now, space is limited.
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Old 04-17-2011, 04:51 PM   #2
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Re: JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

I don't have a problem and I'm not joining VAA!

Mike
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Old 04-17-2011, 08:22 PM   #3
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Re: JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

Cute Story. Are you in VAN Recovery? I'd like to say I'll miss you but I won't.

I hope your Yaris doesn't get in the way of my MINI VAN.

Happy Trails
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Old 04-17-2011, 08:32 PM   #4
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Re: JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

Mike, I hope you never hit 'rock' bottom (but get close).
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Old 04-17-2011, 09:24 PM   #5
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Re: JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

Theme song!

I'm you mamma, I'm your daddy
I'm that forum in the alley
I'm your doctor when in need
Want some van, have some SMB
You know me, I'm your friend
Your main ride, thick and thin

I'm your pusherman
I'm your pusherman

Ain't I clean? Bad machine
Super cool, super mean
Feelin' good, for the van
Superfly, here it stands
Secret stash, heavy bread
Baddest feature is the bed

I'm your pusherman
I'm your pusherman
I'm your pusherman

Solid waste of time
A post of odd circumstance
A link to buy demands,
"Feed me money for style
and I'll let you trip for a while"
Hot console from the blast
How long can a diesel last?
Woo-hoo, go

Got to be mellow, y'all
Gotta get mellow now
Pusherman gettin' mellow y'all

Heavy mind have you signed?
Takin' money all the time
My keyboard entrusts me
For all junkies to see
Forum prince is my thing
Makin' posts is how I swing

I'm your pusherman
I'm your pusherman

Too bad, splee for a generous fee
Make your van what you want it to be
Got a woman I love desperately
Wann give her somethin' better than me
Been told I can't be nothin' else
Just a hustler in spite of my self
I know I can rake it, this life just don't make it
Chevy, Ford

Got to get mellow now
Gotta be mellow, y'all
Got to get mellow now

I'm you mamma, I'm your daddy
I'm that forum in the alley
I'm your doctor when in need
Want some van, have some SMB
You know me, I'm your friend
Your main ride, thick and thin

I'm your pusherman
I'm your pusherman
I'm your pusherman
Pusherman
Chevy, Ford
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Old 04-20-2011, 11:13 AM   #6
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Re: JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

I can quit anytime
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Old 04-20-2011, 01:37 PM   #7
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Re: JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

And just when I thought I had no addictions!!!!!!!!!

Angel
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Old 04-20-2011, 03:33 PM   #8
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Re: JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

Hello. My name is Mac. I'm a Van Aholic, and I DON"T need help!
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Old 04-20-2011, 04:48 PM   #9
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Re: JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

Quote:
Originally Posted by macmcintire
Hello. My name is Mac. I'm a Van Aholic, and I DON"T need help!
That's only because you are all done spending money on your SMB (AKA your wife's van).

Mike
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6.0 PSD 4.10 Posi
Salem Kroger coil spring 4wd
SMB Trailer w/AT Air Suspension
Alaska to Key West, Labrador and more
130685 miles 16.65 mpg average

Prostate cancer survivor. viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11099
2015 VW GTI
Leaving CA for WA
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Old 04-20-2011, 05:27 PM   #10
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Re: JOIN NOW! Van Aholics Anonymous

I'm joinin', and I don't even have a van!
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