I went through this a year and a half ago. It's very hard to tell how much is actually replaced (and cleaned), even with some of the more well advertised rebuilders.
The stock 4r100 will last about 150k miles, rebuilds depend a lot on how well they were done. In particular, missing anything that's worn, or any dirt is no good. The two shops that are mentioned above just keep the case, which makes missing anything really unlikely.
I ended up with a BTS, John Wood was my other (first) choice, but I couldn't get on his build schedule at a time that would work for me. Ended up paying a bunch for shipping, since I'm a long way from them, but am super happy with the results, and in particular the torque converter. Both Brian, and the Woman who runs the phone there, are super nice and really easy to work with.
John Wood will dial a build for your needs (since we're not making huge power and racing our vans, this can mean a cheaper transmission). Brian only builds one transmission, so if you ever junk the van, pull out the transmission and drop it into a race car.