There goes the neighborhood
This just in: Trump has just declared that all internet traffic and forum use will be suspended at 1400 eastern today due to too many hands on the keyboard.
Since hand sanitizer and most other cleaning supplies are sold out there is simply no way to insure the cleanliness of the keyboard so we must cease all use for 6-8 months, just to be safe.
I was sitting on the john with my laptop propped up on a fresh 6000 pack of Charmin when I got the notification from Fox news. 6 squeaky clean, squalking supermodel talking heads told me about from their round table so it must be true. I mean, they have journalism degrees, you know.
I got in the car to exercise my only freedom left driving to Best Buy to just buy a new computer. In theory this should insure absolute sterility from any outbreak seeing how it's a new, sealed computer but I didn't remember that every computer available is made in China, ground zero for this vicious attack on 'Muricanism.
Laptops were the only thing left in stock in the store so I maxed out my 3 credit cards and bought 400 of them. They are in my garage now and my 4 pit bulls are guarding them but if you really need one I might can give you the forum member special at $3999 per unit, of course we would need to do the sale before 1400 today.
I opened a fresh laptop and as soon as I could get signed on I got the same pop up from Fox. All keyboard traffic prohibited after 1400. Don says so. He has all of the answers for my life so I must comply.
On the way home just before unloading all of those laptops I bought all of the Krystal chili that was available from the drive thru, my only option. So it's back to the John to enjoy my last couple hours of internet use before it is banned.
Hey, some of you are just hoarding but I NEED all of this toilet paper.
Currently vanless. Weird.