Called my mechanic, he said today he will finish installing the passenger side lash adjusters and button things back up. We'll see what happens, he also said he's putting in Shell rotella 5w-30 full syn oil, he said he wanted to see if a thicker oil would help ... I forget his reasoning on that but at some point I read on FTE that some people had tried that as well to try to fix engine tick. seems like a bandaid at best.
It occurred to me that I don't think I ever posted up the video with the noise. this was taken about 1 week before I got it towed to the shop. The last time I drove the van it sounded worse than in this video.
Here is a link to the video - this was taken in a parking lot after about 10 minutes of city stop and go driving under 30mph. You can definitely tell that the sound is coming from the passenger side. Having looked at other videos with rod knock, it doesn't quite sound like that but I don't know.
What we do know is:
a. it's not loose spark plugs / on the ignition side of things
b. it's not a bad rocker
c. it isn't related to the exhaust manifold/gasket (in spite of busted manifold bolts, the noise is not present cold).
d. It's not a collapsed valve spring
e. the cam lobes are in good shape and don't show any signs of gauging or scoring