Hi Geoff,
We have two little girls, 3 and 6. Camping with them is so fun, but also so much more work than our normal lives at home.
I don't think you need to make a crib in the van. The bed in back, with the seat folded up, works fine. A very young child couldn't climb over that, and a child old enough to escape that is also old enough to follow basic rules.
However, our van does have a ~5" gap between the back doors and the back bed. Which is just enough room for a five year old to slip down underneath the bed while she is sleeping. I still have no idea how she did that. So maybe figure out a way, or a towel, to mash in there so your kid doesn't get stuck.
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- how to deal with all the extra stuff you need to bring
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Well, last month we camped for a week, and realized on the morning of the second day that we didn't bring their clothes. So they only had what they were wearing. Fortunately, kids that age don't seem to notice things like that. It worked out fine, though we did wash their clothes once or twice while they slept.
I don't feel like they've ever had that much stuff. We bring toys, clothes, diapers, and probably more snacks. But it doesn't seem to amount to that much. You only need a few toys, a few books, and their clothes are pretty small (all of them fit on one of the shelves). Their sleeping bags are tiny, they scrunch into the bags for our sleeping bags without making them bigger. We fit everything we bring for them into the forward sliding closet.
That said, all of my wife and I's person stuff fits in the sliding rear sliding closet. So we still haven't "filled" the van and may be a bit weird. Diapers are the only thing we consistently overpack, because it is such a trainwreck if you run out of those.
If you are going to have trash with you for a while, I heartily recommend "knot-a-bag", so that you can individually seal each diaper before you throw it in the trash. This worked really well when we were sailing, and had to keep trash for up to a month at a time.
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- how to keep them happy (not bored) on the road
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This is hard. It depends on the age. Personal attention works really well for very young kids, if one of you wants to sit back there with them and play. But it's tiring for that person. After a few hours of that I want a break. The DVD player is like magical crack.
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Where to put the kids to have them playing out of the way when cooking/cleaning, etc.? I know when the weather's good, we'd just send them outside. But what about when it's freezing or raining?
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It does get claustrophobic when it's cold for a long time. It's just too many people in too small a space. We deal with it by putting them upstairs, or we go hide upstairs for a while.
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- how to keep them out of the way when cooking
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The van is so small, this hasn't been an issue for us. If they are not outside while we are cooking, then one of us is sitting on the couch next to the stove and it's easy to keep them both away.